


Second Best

by pineapplefan



Category: The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Angst, Brotherly Love, Crying, Family, Gen, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Hurt/Comfort, Nausea, Sick Ponyboy, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-02-23 00:02:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2526527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pineapplefan/pseuds/pineapplefan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He knew that when Sodapop returned, he'd be second best again. Pre-Book. Two-Shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Darry startled awake to the sound of the bathroom door closing.

He was in Dad's old armchair, having fallen asleep watching reruns of _Dragnet_.

He glanced at the clock. 10:39 pm. Ponyboy had claimed he was going to bed long ago. Darry just assumed he wasn't interested in _Dragnet_. He figured, when he went to check on the kid around 9:15, that he'd find him with his nose buried in a book. But instead he found him fast asleep, out like a light, well before 10:00 on a Friday night.

 _Maybe Soda was right_ , he thought to himself. _Maybe the kid is coming down with something._

Darry wiped the sleep from his eyes, the drool from his mouth, and sat up, listening intently. Even over the soft background noise of _Dragnet_ , he could hear running water. It was the shower - he could tell by the noise it made when the scattered stream of water bounced off the plastic shower curtain.

But why was Pony taking a shower now? After he'd already been fast asleep? It didn't make any sense.

Darry rose from the armchair, blinking a few times to get his bearings. He'd really dozed off. Working ten hour work days at his new roofing job was starting to take its toll.

He crossed the room to turn off the TV, still listening closely. Now he could hear the hum of the ice box, the noise from the street outside, and still, the running water from the shower. But over all of that, he could hear the unmistakeable sounds of his youngest brother retching. He _was_ sick. And it made Darry's heart sink into his toes.

Darry rubbed a tired hand over his face and sighed heavily, wishing - with all his might - that Soda was there and not out on a date with Sandy.

Darry had always envied the relationship his younger brothers had with each other. Soda was able to connect with Pony in ways Darry couldn't even imagine. Darry had always felt distant from Ponyboy, even more so now that their parents had passed. The closer Darry tried to get, the further Pony would push him away. They had virtually nothing in common. Sodapop was the only common denominator they had.

And Ponyboy's world _revolved_ around Soda. He worshipped the guy. And Soda loved the kid, too. More than anything. He'd always been protective of him. He knew when to tease him and he knew when to back off, just on intuition alone. One look at Ponyboy, and Soda could tell if something was up. If something needed to be fixed.

And he had known tonight. Soda had known Ponyboy was sick. He'd even voiced his concerns with Darry; almost canceled his date with Sandy.

_"Did Ponyboy seem off to you tonight?" Soda asked, looking at himself in the mirror, trying to decide which shirt to wear. Darry was there to help._

_"Off?" Darry questioned. "What do you mean?"_

_"He seemed quiet at dinner. Didn't eat much."_

_Darry shrugged. "I didn't notice," he said honestly. "He's probably okay, Soda. Pony gets distant sometimes."_

_Soda sighed. "I know - I just… have a feeling." He unbuttoned his shirt, unsatisfied with what he'd seen in the mirror. "I dunno, maybe I ought to cancel with Sandy tonight."_

_Darry reached for the next shirt and handed it to Soda. "Well I ain't gonna let you do that, little buddy. You've been lookin' forward to this all week." Darry gave him a reassuring smile. "Besides, I'll be here. There's nothing to worry about."_

_Soda nodded, but he still didn't seem too sure. "What do you think of this shirt?" he asked, turning sideways to look at himself in the mirror from a different angle._

_"That's the one," Darry said as enthusiastically as he could muster. Sodapop looked just fine in any shirt, and Darry thought this whole "elimination process" was pretty ridiculous._

_"You think?" Soda wondered. "I'll go ask Pony." He disappeared out of the room, and Darry shook his head after him._

Darry's thoughts were interrupted when he heard Ponyboy retch a second time. Then a third. Then a fourth…

 _Shit_.

Darry hurried into the hallway and approached the closed bathroom door quickly, but he froze when he raised his fist to knock on the door. He was afraid. Darry was afraid of his own brother. Afraid that Ponyboy wouldn't want him.

Darry let out a deep breath and shook himself. It didn't matter if Pony didn't want him. He needed him, and right now, Darry was all he had.

Darry bit down on his lip and rapped his knuckles on the door. "Ponyboy?"

No response. Just the sound of running water.

"Ponyboy? You okay in there?" Darry's voice had crept up an octave from its usual pitch. It made him realize just how worried he was about the kid.

He heard Ponyboy cough. "I'm okay," came a weak reply.

"Well, it doesn't sound like it, kiddo," Darry said. "I'm comin' in." He pushed the door open slowly, wincing as the stench of vomit hit his nostrils.

Pony was hunched over the toilet, kneeling, his elbows resting on the toilet seat, his head dangling limp between his arms. He was coughing lightly, spitting strings of saliva into the bowl before him.

Darry remained at the doorway for a moment, swallowing hard as he took in the sight of his miserable brother. "Oh, Pony," he breathed, nothing but sympathy for the kid.

Ponyboy remained still. Darry could see how the sweat seeped through his shirt, the traces of vomit on his chin, his hair matted and wet. Instinctively, Darry grabbed a washcloth from the rack and ran it under some cool water. Then he rung it out and turned off the faucet.

He positioned himself, kneeling, behind his brother; slipping the wet rag under the tufts of hair on the back of Pony's neck. Ponyboy seemed to tense at the touch, which was the opposite reaction Darry had been going for. "Easy, Pony," he soothed. "Just relax."

With his free hand, he reached beside him and turned the water from the shower off, his arm getting a little damp in the process. "Why'd you turn the shower on?" he wondered out loud.

Ponyboy coughed again. "Didn't want you… to hear," he managed between his ragged breaths.

Darry felt his eyes prick with tears. Pony was trying to hide being sick. He didn't want Darry there with him.

"Please, Darry," Ponyboy begged softly, pulling himself closer to the toilet. "Just go." He barely made out his words, as the urge to gag overcame him once more.

Even though Darry had expected this, had expected to be rejected, he felt a stab of pain in his heart. He wished, once again, that Sodapop was here. Because if Mom and Dad weren't there - and they weren't - he knew that Soda was who his youngest brother wanted. And no one could replace him.

But Darry was determined to try.

"I ain't goin' anywhere," Darry said softly, scooting closer to his brother, helping him lean further over the toilet as he threw up again. "I'm afraid you're stuck with me, kid."

When Pony stopped gagging for a brief moment, he covered his head with his arms, hiding his face from Darry. "Please," he said again, his voice coming out in a choked sob. "I-I don't…" he took a wavering breath. "I don't want you to see."

Darry felt another twinge in his chest. Because Ponyboy was not rejecting him. Pony was embarrassed. Darry felt a slight wave of relief, but a more empowering wave of fresh heartbreak. Ponyboy would rather suffer alone than face the humiliation of being ill in front Darry.

Darry could visibly see how upset this was making Ponyboy. His entire body was trembling, tears were spilling from his eyes. And Darry knew he needed to calm his brother down.

"Ponyboy, look at me," Darry said, pulling him upright, away from the toilet. He had one hand cupped behind his brother's head, keeping him steady, the other clutching the washcloth from Pony's neck.

Ponyboy reluctantly opened his bleary eyes. Gosh, but he looked sick. Tears and snot, streaming down his face, sweat beading at his forehead, the vomit remnants on his chin. His pale pallor, the flushed cheeks, the dark circles under his eyes… Darry would give anything to switch places with the kid. Anything to keep him from feeling so awful, so embarrassed.

Carefully, Darry took the wet rag and pressed it to Pony's forehead, first wiping the sweat from his brow. Then he wiped Pony's cheeks, his nose, his chin, around his mouth. "That feels better, doesn't it?" Darry said gently, tossing the soiled cloth into the sink.

Pony just squeezed his eyes shut, embarrassed still. But Darry was relieved when he nodded slightly.

Absently, Darry thumbed away the tears that continued to leak out of Pony's eyes and down his cheeks. He cupped a hand on his forehead.

"I'm sorry," Pony mumbled suddenly.

Darry frowned as he pulled his hand back from Pony's feverish skin. "For what, Pone?"

Pony just reopened his eyes as a response, curling his arms around his aching stomach. _For this._

Darry smiled sadly and reached for his brother, praying that he wouldn't resist. He didn't. Pony let himself fall into Darry's arms, burying his head into the crevice of big brother's neck.

Darry didn't know if he should be relieved that Ponyboy was letting him embrace him, or worried that he was letting himself be so vulnerable. Darry knew just how sick Pony had to be feeling if he was letting Darry hold him like that. "It's okay," Darry said, keeping his voice calm. "You don't have to apologize for being sick, Pony."

They fell quiet once again, Darry rubbing soft circles on Pony's back.

"Pone," Darry said softly, after Pony's breaths had slowed. "How long have you felt sick?"

Darry felt Ponyboy pull away from his chest, and he leaned up heavily against the side of the bathtub. "Since this morning," he answered guiltily, looking down at his hands.

Darry breathed deeply, his gut filled with regret. How had he not noticed? Soda had noticed. Soda was willing to give up his night with Sandy, all on a hunch that Pony wasn't well.

_"Hey, Pony, you sure you're alright?" Soda had asked, just moments before he left to pick up Sandy. He had the back of his hand pressed against Pony's forehead._

_"I'm fine, Soda," Pony had answered through gritted teeth. "Just a little tired is all."_

_"You'd tell me if you weren't okay, wouldn't you?" Soda asked. He'd always been the master of guilt trips._

_"Yeah, you know I would," Pony assured him, obviously lying based on recent events._

_Soda looked him up and down one more time. "Okay," he gave in. "Get some rest tonight, you hear? I want you at 100% when we go to the drag races tomorrow."_

_Ponyboy grinned. "I will," he promised. "Have fun with Sandy, Soda."_

_Soda ruffled his hair and turned to the front door._

_"You have enough money?" Darry asked, walking Soda to the door._

_"Yeah, I'm good," he answered. He lowered his voice as he stepped out onto the porch. "Keep a close eye on the kid, okay, Darry? I'm tellin' you, somethin' ain't right."_

_"Quit worryin' so much," Darry said lightly. "Just go have fun with your girl. I'll hold down the fort here."_

"S'okay, Darry," Pony said, his weak voice breaking into Darry's thoughts. "You didn't know." Darry imagined his face must've looked pretty guilty for Ponyboy to try and comfort _him_ when he was sicker than a dog.

"Yeah, well I should've known," Darry said heavily. "You want to try some water, kiddo?"

Ponyboy swallowed. "Okay," he said timidly, keeping one hand over his stomach.

Darry smiled sadly as he stood up. "I know it doesn't sound too appealing. But I want you to try. I don't want you getting dehydrated."

Pony bobbed his head up and down in understanding.

Darry filled a dixie cup with tap water and held it out to his brother. "Take it slow," he instructed.

Ponyboy took merely two sips of the water before shaking his head and handing the cup back to Darry. "It's not gonna stay down," he said, his voice in a slight panic, his face contorted from his sudden wave of nausea.

Darry quickly set the cup back down on the sink, then he slipped his hand behind Pony's back and helped slide him back over to the toilet.

Pony leaned over the toilet as the water came rushing up; bringing slimy bile along with it. And then Pony started dry heaving.

"Easy," Darry cooed, feeling his brother tremble with each attempted omission from his abdomen. "Just breathe, Pony. Breathe through it."

Ponyboy was crying again, and Darry didn't blame him. He knew how painful dry heaving could be from his own experience. Darry clenched his jaw. He hated seeing Pony like this.

Ponyboy coughed loudly, nearly choking, and it caused Darry's heart to beat a thousand times faster.

"Pony?"

Pony gasped, catching his breath and swallowing. "I'm okay," he managed.

Darry felt himself relax, ever so slightly. But then Pony retched again, this time bringing up some more actual vomit. Darry winced as bile connected with toilet water, and his brother moaned in discomfort.

"Darry…" Pony's voice sounded so strangled. _Make it stop._

He lifted his head to look at his big brother, regretting it when he coughed violently, causing more bile to spill out from his lips and dribble onto his T-shirt.

Pony looked horrified, his eyes welling up tears. "Hey, it's okay," Darry said immediately, helping his brother lean back over the toilet, where he threw up once more.

And then it was quiet; Ponyboy was focused on catching his breath, Darry was focused on rubbing circles in the sick kid's back. They didn't speak while the pair nervously waited to see if this round of sickness had any more revolt left.

After five minutes, Ponyboy pushed himself away from the toilet, sighing deeply. Darry sighed too, glad that the current crisis seemed to have passed.

"You okay?" Darry asked, reaching up to flush away the mess.

Ponyboy managed a nod. "For now," he croaked.

"Do you want to head back to bed?" Darry asked. "You might be more comfortable…"

But Ponyboy shook his head, curling his arms around his middle. "I think I still might…" he glanced at the toilet reluctantly. "I think I should stay in here."

Darry smiled sadly at his brother. "Okay, kiddo," he said. "Let's get you cleaned up, huh? Then we'll set up camp in here."

Very carefully, Darry pulled Pony's soiled shirt over his head and tossed it in the sink along with the soiled washcloth. Then he got a fresh washcloth down from the rack and ran some water over it.

"Here, kid," he said lightly, handing the cloth over to Pony. "Think you can manage wiping yourself up some?" he asked. "It'll feel good, I promise."

Pony nodded vaguely, his eyes drooping as he took the cloth from Darry. He had to be exhausted.

"Hang tight, Pone, I'll be right back."

Darry slipped out the bathroom door, making a beeline for his Pony's room. He grabbed a fresh T-shirt from his dresser and slung it over his shoulder. Then he went into his own room, grabbing every pillow, his sheet, and his comforter. He wanted to leave Pony's bed made up for if and when he was well enough to go back to bed.

Ponyboy was absently rubbing his chest with the cloth when he returned, his head lolling slightly to one side. Darry lifted his limp brother up so he could slide a pillow underneath him, in an effort to get him off the cold tile floor.

He put the other pillow between Pony and the wall and and kneeled down in front of him. He took the cloth away from Pony and tossed it in the sink. "Pony here, put this on," Darry said, holding the shirt out to him. "Do you need help?"

Ponyboy shook his head. "I can do it."

Darry let him, while he settled in on the other side of the kid, knowing this was going to be a long night. He pulled the comforter close, bundling his brother up the best he could.

Darry was touched when Ponyboy slumped against his shoulder, instead of opting for the pillow against the wall. He held onto his brother tightly. "Go to sleep, Pony," he whispered softly. "I'll be right here."

He brushed the kid's bangs out of his face, and felt the weight of his brother relax. The kid was out like a light within seconds.

Darry couldn't help but smile to himself. He wished with all his might that Pony hadn't gotten sick - that he hadn't been put through this torture tonight. But as he held his youngest brother in his arms, it felt good. This hadn't happened in a long time. And Darry was glad to feel needed.

He felt closer to Ponyboy than he had in months. He was content with that. For now, he'd stepped up and filled Soda's shoes. And hell, he'd done a pretty good job. But he knew that when Sodapop returned, he'd be second best again.

Darry yawned and glanced down at his little brother. He looked peaceful now - face still flushed from fever - but peaceful all the same. Darry let out a deep breath and closed his own eyes; telling himself not to drift off too deeply in case Pony needed him…

He awoke later, to the sound of the front door creaking open, realizing he must've dozed off more than he'd planned. He looked down at Pony, relieved to find him still asleep. He listened as footsteps made their way down the hall. And then Sodapop appeared in the doorway.

**TBC…**


	2. Chapter 2

Sodapop stood at the doorway, taking in the sight before him.

His eyes immediately went to Ponyboy. They always went to him first, no matter the situation.

The kid looked awful, curled up in Darry's lap on the bathroom floor. Soda could only assume the events that had occurred. The events he had _known_ would occur.

He was still mentally kicking himself for going through with his date with Sandy, when he knew Ponyboy was ill. He'd been distracted the whole night. And she could tell. Hell, she's the one that told him to go home.

That's why he was here, well before curfew, staring down at his sick mess of a brother.

Soda ran his hands through his hair and met Darry's eyes regretfully. "How long have you been in here?" he asked quietly.

Darry stole a glance at his watch. "Hour and a half," he whispered. He let out a tired sigh and smiled sadly. "Guess you were right, huh?"

It was one of those times Soda didn't enjoy being right, but he was rarely wrong when it came to the kid. "I know my little brother," he said, shrugging his shoulders. And if he hadn't been so focused on Ponyboy, he would've seen how he'd hurt his older brother with those words.

Soda stepped further into the bathroom, crouching down in front of his brothers, looking Ponyboy over carefully. This was the first time any of them had been sick since their parents passed.

Soda knew Darry had taken good care of Pony. He could tell by how Darry had pulled the covers and pillows from his own bed into the bathroom. He could tell because Pony's face was wiped clean, ridded of the all remnants of being ill. He could tell because Ponyboy was sound asleep in his big brother's arms. But Soda also knew that Darry wasn't Mom.

And he knew that Ponyboy must be scared, being sick for the first time without his parents.

Soda couldn't help but be a little jealous. He should be the one in Darry's place. He should be the one holding his little brother.

That was his job, after all. Ever since Mom and Dad died, Soda had made Ponyboy his number one responsibility. If Ponyboy had a nightmare, he was there. If Ponyboy was upset, he'd calm him down. If Ponyboy and Darry didn't see eye-to-eye, he'd play peacemaker. Any time Ponyboy was in trouble, or hurt, or upset, Soda had a determined focus to make it right again.

Darry's job was to work, and pay bills, and clean, and deal with social services, and get dinner on the table. Soda's job was Ponyboy.

Soda took his eyes away from Pony to glance at Darry. "How long has it been since he threw up?" he asked.

Darry thought for a moment. "'Bout an hour," he answered. "He tried to drink some water but…" he trailed off, letting Soda fill in the details for himself.

"Maybe we should move him back to bed," Soda suggested quietly. "If it's been an hour since he hurled, we might be in the clear. And he'd be more comfortable that way."

Darry nodded in agreement, almost reluctantly. He could already feel Soda taking the wheel.

Soda reached forward to put his hand on Ponyboy's forehead, brushing the hair out of his eyes. "Pony," he said gently. "Open your eyes for me, kiddo."

Darry felt Pony stir and his eyes fluttered. "Soda?" he said weakly, before he'd even opened his eyes completely. "You h'me?" His words were soft and slurred, but Soda could understand him perfectly.

"Yeah, I'm home," he responded gently. "How you feelin'?"

Ponyboy opened his eyes a little more, swallowing thickly, as if the question alone caused his stomach to churn. Soda saw the realization on Pony's face, as the events of the night washed over him like a wave. He realized he was on the bathroom floor and he realized that he was propped up against Darry. And he remembered why.

Ponyboy looked up at his oldest brother and Darry gave him a reassuring smile. Soda heard Pony's breath hitch, and he looked back down, ashamed.

Soda knew Darry had taken great care of Pony - and he knew a part of Ponyboy was comforted and grateful. But he also knew how private Ponyboy was, and he knew the youngest boy was still humiliated about having to endure such weakness in front of his eldest brother.

"Hey, Pony…" _Don't be embarrassed. Look at me._

Ponyboy blinked and looked at his brother who was crouched in front of him. His eyes started to well up with tears.

Soda knew he was feeling overwhelmed, and he knew he needed to lighten the mood before Ponyboy got too upset.

Soda yawned theatrically and raised his arms over his head to stretch. "Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty beat." He winked at Pony. "I know _you_ wouldn't understand, but girls take a lot of energy out of you."

Ponyboy's mouth started to twitch up into a smile. "Whatever," he breathed, knowing Soda was only teasing.

"What about you, kid? Wouldn't you prefer sleeping in a bed?" Soda glanced at Darry. "I'm sure Darry would." Even though it seemed like Darry would be perfectly content with staying on the floor all night with Ponyboy tucked beside him.

Ponyboy looked up guiltily at his big brother, and nodded. He pushed against Darry and started to stand up.

"Whoa," Darry and Soda said simultaneously, reaching for Ponyboy as he swayed backwards.

"Take it easy, kid," Darry said. "We'll help you."

Darry and Soda both stood and hoisted Ponyboy up by the armpits.

Once upright, Ponyboy rested his head against Sodapop's shoulder, leaning his weight on him. Darry released his grasp on the kid, trying hard not to feel offended.

Sodapop, noticing the obstacle of pillows and blankets and sheets blocking their exit to the doorway, looked to Darry. And Darry knew what he was asking without Soda having to voice the question. Darry sighed heavily and bent down to collect the linens in his arms, clearing a pathway for his brothers. He disappeared out of the room.

"Ready, Pone?" Soda asked, keeping one hand wrapped tightly around his lean brother's form.

But when Ponyboy didn't answer, and instead moaned softly into Soda's shoulder, Soda knew it wasn't a good sign.

"Pony…?"

He didn't respond, but Soda could hear him swallowing thickly. And when Pony tightened his grip around Soda's middle, Soda knew what was about to happen.

Keeping one arm around Ponyboy, Soda reached into the sink and tossed the soiled washcloths and T-shirt from earlier into the bathtub.

Ponyboy swallowed again, panic starting to creep into his voice. "Soda…"

"I know," Soda assured him, walking Ponyboy over to the sink. "It's okay." He wanted Ponyboy to remain standing if he could, which is why he opted for the sink instead of the toilet. Ponyboy held onto the edge of the sink tightly, his lips in a thin tight line, his face getting paler by the second. His head was down and he was breathing shallowly through his nose.

"Don't fight it, Pone," Soda suggested easily, standing beside his brother, a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"But…" Soda saw tears start to leak from Ponyboy's eyes. "I don't want to throw up again."

"I know," Soda told him, starting to rub his back. "But I don't think you get a say in the matter. So let's just get it over with, huh?"

Ponyboy opened his mouth to respond, but gagged instead, hunching further over the sink. Nothing came up. He froze, spitting as he felt saliva start to pool in his mouth.

"Soda…" he whined again, his voice breaking.

"It's okay, Ponyboy," Soda soothed. "I'm right here with you." He felt a pang of panic in his gut - the way he always did when Pony was in this much distress. But he quickly shook it off, reminding himself that he could handle it. That he _had_ to handle it.

"Is he okay?" Darry had appeared back at the doorway, and seeing his brother hunched over the sink warranted a fresh wave of concern.

"We're good," Soda answered calmly, not taking his focus off Pony. "Just give us a minute…"

Darry nodded, and turned away, feeling unneeded at best. Darry sighed and headed into Ponyboy's bedroom to set things up in there.

Soda sensed Darry leave the doorway, and he was secretly grateful. There was no need for more than one person to be hovering over Ponyboy when he was like this. But he did wonder about Darry. He was getting strange signals from him…

Soda's train of thought was interrupted when Ponyboy vomited into the sink, finally letting his stomach do what it needed to do. Soda jumped, surprised at the sound.

"Easy, kid," Soda said, calmly collecting himself. He turned on the faucet to rid the contents more quickly. Then he replaced his hand on Ponyboy's back, feeling him lean into the touch, his entire body trembling.

Ponyboy moaned, his knuckles turning white from gripping the sink.

"Shh, you're okay," Soda said, using his free hand to push the sweaty hair out of Pony's eyes.

Ponyboy made a strangled noise in his throat as more bile rushed up and he threw up again, splattering watery vomit into the sink.

He let out a distressed sob, his body trying to curl into itself.

"You're okay," Soda said again, shifting his hand so he could massage Pony's stomach muscles. "Just breathe through it, Pony."

Ponyboy did as he was told, taking deep breaths the best he could while Soda continued to rub his sore stomach muscles. Pony continued to spit into the sink, his breaths starting to steady.

Finally, Soda felt his brother relax in his arms, completely drained.

"You good?" Soda asked uncertainly, pulling the kid closer to him.

Pony nodded, his eyes struggling to stay open.

Soda, seeing this, maneuvered Pony over to the toilet, and had him sit down on the lid.

"Hey, Darry…" he called out the door, as he wiped Ponyboy's face with a fresh damp cloth.

Darry appeared almost instantly, holding a bottle of liquid Tylenol in his hand. Their mom always had the liquid stuff on hand in case one of them came down with a stomach bug. She knew that the gag reflex was sensitive and swallowing pills would be near impossible. There was still some left over from before she'd passed.

Soda smiled at Darry and set the cloth down. "You read my mind." He was worried about how feverish the kid was.

Darry returned the smile and handed the bottle over. "How's he doin'?" he asked, nodding at Ponyboy. He rested his head against the doorframe

"I'm okay," Pony answered for himself, even though he didn't look it. His eyes were closed and his shoulders were sagged.

Soda laughed lightly as he measured out the correct dosage of Tylenol. "Not sure you convinced him, Pone." He knelt down in front of the sick kid. "Here," he said, handing him the tiny cup of medicine. "Bottoms up."

Pony took the cup reluctantly. "What if it doesn't stay down?" he whispered.

"It will," Soda said confidently, even though he obviously didn't know that for sure. "C'mon, Pony, you're burnin'. We need to bring that fever down."

And because Pony trusted Soda more than anyone on the planet, he tilted his head back and took the Tylenol.

Sodapop and Darry both held their breath, _praying_ that the medicine would stay down.

And somehow, miraculously, it did. Soda's coaching might've helped. _Keep it down, kiddo. You can do it.  
_

After the victory, the boys took their opportunity to get Ponyboy back to bed. Soda wrapped his arm around Pony's back and led him down the hall while Darry hurried ahead to the bedroom, straightening out the sheets and fluffing up the pillows.

Darry had a trashcan set up by the head of Pony's bed, in case his stomach decided to go haywire again. Soda carefully eased his brother onto the bed.

Pony was too tired to get under the covers on his own, so Darry and Soda helped him, pulling the covers up , snug, to his chin.

"Thanks," Ponyboy mumbled. And both Darry and Soda knew how much he meant it. He wasn't just thanking them for helping him get under the covers, or staying with him while he was sick, or being an adequate replacement for Mom and Dad. He was was thanking them for everything. For being his big brothers.

"Of course, Pony," Darry said softly, and Soda could've sworn his voice broke slightly.

Soda tilted his head at his older brother before kneeling down next to his younger one.

"Ponyboy? We're going to go clean up the bathroom and then we'll be back in here with you, okay?"

Pony nodded vaguely, his eyes closed.

"Get some sleep," Soda whispered, running his hand through Pony's hair. "We love you, kid."

If Ponyboy hadn't already been slipping out of consciousness, he would've told his brothers he loved them too. More than anything else in the world.

He was asleep before Darry turned off the light and closed the door behind him.

xxx

Once in the hallway, both brothers let out a deep sigh. Darry leaned his back against the door, closed his eyes, and ran his hands over his face. Soda noticed his hands were trembling, and frowned slightly.

"Darry…?" he said softly.

Darry dropped his arms and looked helplessly at Soda. He had tears overflowing in his eyes, and the sight of it made Soda feel like he'd been punched in the gut.

"What's the matter?"

Darry shook his head slightly, unwilling to let Soda in on what was bothering him. There were too many emotions swirling around in his head, and he didn't know how to put them in words. "I'm okay," he said hoarsely.

But Soda wouldn't accept that, mainly because he knew it wasn't the truth. "No you're not," he said decidedly, taking Darry by the arm. "C'mon."

He walked him out to the TV room so they could have a discussion without waking Pony. Darry followed reluctantly.

They flopped down onto the couch, exhausted from the events of the night. Darry leaned forward to his put elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. Soda watched him carefully. He knew Darry didn't like to show his emotions, and Soda could tell he was struggling to keep them at bay. He waited patiently for Darry to speak.

After a long moment of silence, he did. "I didn't know he was sick," he said finally, sighing heavily. "I had no idea. None. Not until you said something tonight." He paused and glanced at his brother, a sad look in his eyes. "I'm no good at this, Soda."

Soda frowned. "At what?"

"This!" Darry said, exasperated. "Being a guardian."

Soda couldn't help it. He started to laugh.

Darry looked offended, a bewildered look plastered to his face. "Sort of pouring my heart out to you, man," he said. "It's not funny."

Soda shook his head slightly, trying to collect himself. "No, I know it's not," he said gently. "But Dar, you can't be serious. You're _amazing_ at this."

Darry huffed, obviously not taking what Soda was saying with much conviction. "Sure."

"I mean it. C'mon, Darry, you went from being a brother to being a parent overnight. No one expects you to be perfect. But I have to tell you, man, you're damn near close to it. You work hard at your job, you pay the bills, you keep food on the table…" Soda trailed off, hoping with all his heart that Darry was hearing him, because he meant what he was saying. "You have a lot on your plate, Darry. It wouldn't be human if you caught _every single detail_."

Darry nodded, allowing Soda's words sink it. But then sighed again, prepared to let Soda in on what was really bothering him. "I just wish Pony trusted me as much as he trusts you."

Soda smiled sadly at his brother. "He does, Darry. He loves you and looks up to you so much."

Darry shook his head, not believing. "You were clearly who he wanted tonight," he objected.

"Maybe so," Soda agreed. "But it wasn't because he doesn't love you or trust you." He took in a deep breath. "Darry, you have to remember that Ponyboy is six years younger than you. You're tough and strong and brave in his eyes, and that's because you never let him see you when you're down. And I get that. I do. You want him to feel safe - like everything's okay. I want that for him too." Soda paused, collecting his thoughts. "But it's hard for him to show weakness in front of you because you always hold such a strong demeanor in front of him."

Darry took in a wavering breath and nodded, amazed by Soda's insight. He knew what Soda was saying was true.

Soda relaxed, knowing he'd gotten through to his brother. "You've got to let him in before he lets you in. Ponyboy's a lot like you, Darry. Private and stubborn."

Darry laughed lightly and wiped his tears from his cheeks. "Then thank god we have you, little buddy, to keep us in line." He reached his arm out and pulled Sodapop in for a hug.

Soda hugged him back with all his might, feeling Darry's muscles relax. They held that embrace for a long time while Darry composed himself.

"Let's go to bed, huh?" Darry suggested finally, into Soda's shoulder.

"What about the bathroom?" Soda asked, pulling away.

"It can wait until morning," Darry said simply. "C'mon."

The two brothers quietly made their way down the hall and tiptoed into Pony's bedroom, being careful not to wake him. They slipped under the covers, one on either side of their ailing brother.

Tonight had been rocky and full of emotions, but as Darry and Soda snuggled up close to Ponyboy, and heard him sigh lightly in his sleep at the presence of his brothers, they knew that everything would be okay.

As long as they were together, _everything would be okay._


End file.
